Candor in Crucial Conversations

Assumptions are the short-cuts to random results in relationships. Sometimes they work, sometimes they fail. Candor is the direct path to results in crucial conversations. Candor produces clear communication and understanding in relationships.

If you believe in your relationships, you can afford candor. If your relationships are superficial, candor may just be what is needed. Conversations just aren't at optimum quality without it.

This is a follow-up to our previous post How to Navigate Crucial Conversations.

What is Candor and Why do School Leaders need it?

Consider the following potential conflicts:

1. Someone didn't complete a task. 
2. A teacher didn't fulfill your expectation. 
3. A parent is suddenly upset and calls the school board. 
4. Your leadership team is quieter than normal at your three previous meetings.
5. Your assistant superintendent seems to have stopped visiting your campus, and you're not sure why. 

The worst response is to make an assumption. You might assume you said something wrong. This leads to self-doubt. You might assume the other person has ill-intentions. This leads to distrust.

Your assumptions could be right, and the resulting actions could produce results in your relationships. Operative word: could. Assumptions could be right.

Here are 3 reasons why you, as a school leader, need direct honesty in your relationships and crucial conversations.

1. Candor is Refreshing in Conversation

The surest response is candor for the above scenarios. Candor in a conversation is refreshing. It demonstrates openness, trust, and honesty.

Do not fear conflict or hurt emotions. If a relationship cannot withstand honesty, it is damaged already. Take the step and be candid - the relationships will build or break. It won't - it can't - just limp along.

2. Expectations are Communicated Clearly and Sincerely

"Hey Mr. Short, how are you today? Great. I just wanted to stop by and ask an honest question. Did you turn in your quarterly report to my secretary? I didn't see it."

There. That was simple.

"You know, it's not fair for me to expect things without clearly communicating. Mr. Short, can I have your honest feedback? Do you feel like the due date was communicated well enough?"

Whoa, that was pretty candid. 

"I know I mentioned it in a faculty meeting back in October. However, I don't think I put it in writing. It's okay to be honest with me. That's how we improve. Would it be helpful to communicate in writing also?"

Pandering? No. It's opening a line of communication. It is suspending judgment and allowing for candor. Mr. Short might admit he knew about it and forgot. You might be reminded of the importance of multiple communication channels. 

One thing is for sure - you will never miss a report from Mr. Short again. And you've likely earned respect and built rapport.

3. Begin Relationships with Candor

Every relationship is best served by starting with openness about communication. If the working relationship is valuable in your school, start off by recognizing the importance of communication. 

Establish the expectation of honesty from the start. A mystery dinner may be entertaining, but a mystery workplace is no good for school success.

Clarify your role.

"It's my role to build a school where ideas are valued, creative solutions are encouraged, and success is celebrated. I will give feedback when I see success and when I see anything that may take away your success. I will ask questions, but I don't always expect answers. I do expect honest dialogue."

Clarify your commitment.

"I am committed to your success. That may mean your success here or in the next step in your career. It's all about the students. If you're successful, so are they."

Set up your staff for successful discussions.

"My job is to ensure that all students perform at high levels. I'm going to be honest about anything I see that challenges my expectations of student performance. This means I might ask questions frequently about their performance. Please think about their performance often and always be ready to discuss."

Here's a great post on Leading with Questions.

Emphasize the importance of feedback.

"My role is to supervise the staff, but that doesn't mean I always have the right answer or the best feedback. I will ask you before I give feedback."

"I also need your feedback. Tell me when something is slowing your success. Tell me when you have ideas for improvement."

Give permission for emotions.
"I know we each are passionate about what we do. I know you will not take offense to my feedback or questions. I will never ask you to leave your emotions at the door. Just be aware of them and use them to fuel your drive for excellence."

Benefits of Candor in a School Culture

Here's a short list of the benefits from this kind of candor in a school culture. 

1. Establishes trust with teachers and your supervisors.
2. Communicates clear expectations.
3. Second chances demonstrate goodwill.
4. Goodwill garners trust and best effort.
5. Reduces the undercurrent of second guessing and gossip.
6. Communicates professionalism and a business-like environment.
7. Sets standards for great teachers to flourish.
8. Sets standards for mediocrity to wither.
9. Needs can quickly be addressed.
10. Reduces job dissatisfiers.
11. Solves problems with immediacy.
12. Assumes human, not perfection.
13. Permits honesty.
14. Builds respect.
15. Builds rapport.
16. Minimizes power struggles and politics.
17. Focuses on relationships rather than righteousness.
18. Contributes to a teamwork culture, rather than a "me culture".

Candor is About Students, Not Us

The most effective schools understand that students are the center of their success. When staff members are afraid to speak up, problems are shoved under rugs. Progress is slowed when open discourse stalls. 

Candor allows problems to be address straightaway. It creates an environment of quick action, clear communication, and steady results. What steps will you take this week to build a school culture on candor? How will your relationship be better for it? If you enjoyed this post, please read my previous on Navigating those Crucial Conversations.